You know you want more. You envision yourself being more. Why not go big as hell and see what happens?
First time I heard the phrase you do not fail I Laughed. Confidently I responded, “Everybody fails sometime.”
Then my coach looked at me and said. “You do not fail you give up trying.” It was the uppercut for the knockout I wasn’t expecting. I think I sat there for a couple of minutes before responding. I realized he had described different parts of my life with one sentence.
That conversation changed my life. If you never stop going for it then do you indeed fail? Sure you learn some good stuff along the way. You learn how not to do something and learn how to do something better. That’s called life not failure.
For me, it wasn’t until later in life that I learned this lesson. My lifestyle was if life wasn’t going right then get out.
- At 18 not knowing what to do with my life I ran to the Marine Corps.
- At 22 with no direction, I ran to Saint Louis, Mo.
- At 25 with no path and my tail between my legs, I ran back to Texas.
- At 28 I started a website company, one client complained, and I shut down the company. (We took a job we shouldn’t have in the first place)
Every time life got tough I removed myself from the situation. I thought that if I got out of there, then I would get passed whatever was uncomfortable or at least get away from it.
Now I realize most of those times I was giving up. I gave up on learning experiences I would have to learn later. When life gets difficult, it means you leveled up. It means you now have to learn a new level of badassery. You have to learn new skills and talents. You have to get after it.
The universe will throw things your way to teach you life lessons. It will never throw you more than you can handle so be strong and persevere. When you come out on the other side I promise you will look back and go wow that wasn’t so bad.
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For a lot of my career, I played it very safe. Taking jobs right in front of me instead of taking on my next adventure. I didn’t work to succeed I worked to survive.
It wasn’t until in my 30’s that I realized I was living life by default and not design. My time was not my own it belonged to others. I spent a good portion of my career making others wealthy while I moped through life. I would daydream for better but couldn’t find it in me to go for it.
Society has people pegged as a whole. It knows how to keep you in your station. It knows how to keep you complacent and distracted from your destiny. It knows how to throw shining objects in your path everytime you step out of line.
Not recognizing that you are playing someone else’s game now that’s risky. It’s also scary. It’s like your life is a black & white movie during the depression. Head down shuffling your feet looking for anything that could bring you food. Playing it safe ensures you never go after your dreams it means you never go big.
How do you fix it? Take a different risk. Do something that scares you not just to do it but to learn. Do something that challenges you not to scare you but to learn. A risk is a learning opportunity. It is a chance to become more educated than you were before. It gives you a shot at learning how to do something. Knowledge is power, but it is only power when you do something with it.
This world is full of smart people living mundane lives. Don’t let that be you. Go for it, challenge life and learn every day. Learn skills, processes, and abilities that allow you to go further. Rise up and be the phoenix of your life and watch what happens. If your life is dull, boring and black & white, then shake it up. We get one shot on this rock make it a good one.
Oh and one last thing, you want to really go big then do the biggest thing that scares you. Then look at the world saying hold my beer and watch this shit.
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I watched the video of Emmy and Golden Globe Award winner Peter Dinklage when he delivered the June 1, 2012, Commencement address. This video of Peter who plays Tyrion in the Game of Thrones tv series inspires the hell out of me.
The entire address is great this snippet is my favorite part.
Ever Tried Ever Failed. Fail Again Fail Better.
Don’t you just love the thought of failing better? I never thought of it until this speech. I have heard the phrase fail to learn or learn to fail and I have used it most of my career. Failing better has so much more impact.
Failing better means you are going harder, bigger and crazier than you ever have. You are doing explosive things that challenge you to light up this world. Failing better means you are learning from your failures and correcting on the fly and making smarter decisions.
Most people won’t even try for fear of failure. Without putting yourself out there you can never succeed. You can’t chase your dreams if you are playing it safe. Go for it, fail for it and inspire yourself. Become the person you were destined to be and always thought you would become. Live out your daydreams by failing better.
Peter Dinklage drew a line in the sand and bet on himself. He went for it not giving himself and a backup plan. If you go for it then go for it big. Do what scares you and watch your failures turn into victories.
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The entire 2012 address can be watch here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuEfEv0OlsY
Racing through life people are quick to give advice. They are so geared up to help someone out by telling, they never stop to ask if its OK.
Early in my career, I was very guilty of this. I was constantly trying to walk people through some book I read or some seminar I went too. Luckily people tend to listen when I spoke but others did not. It was like I was trying to force this information on them. Willing them to learn. I thought if they knew what I knew then they could get the results I did.
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself — Galileo
This quote and some sage advice from a mentor changed everything. Living your life by telling what you know never works. If you want to help others then you must create an environment of discussion. Open verbal collaboration in where personal discoveries can be made. Allowing room for deeper thinking and allowing others to add their thoughts.
Sharing wisdom is a gift but only if the audience is receptive. If you want to share your knowledge then stop teaching and start asking questions. Help people to come up with their own discoveries. When speaking to an audience tell them not to take notes on what is said. They should take notes on what they think as a result of what is being said.
Change the conversation by being a willing participant and everyone grows.
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Anytime life get hard it means you have leveled up. This statement has been like a warm blanket on a cold day for me. Getting my coaching business going has been successful and trying. Like playing a game where and you just beat a boss and now you have started a new stage. You have all your skills, weapons, and knowledge you are now just taking on bigger bad guys, beasts, and uncovering new areas.
I have leveled up a few times in my life. Promotions in the Marine Corps, promotions in jobs and career changes. Every time I have moved there has been a steep learning curve. I took on jobs that were bigger than I thought I was and every time I figured it out. It wasn’t easy but we all know the saying if it was easy everyone would do it.
I think this is why people stay doing the things they hate. They don’t believe they could handle it if they were to level up. The truth is they can, they are just afraid of whom they will become along the way.
I look at it this way. Each time you level up you know you have bigger more badass weapons coming your way. Stuff that you haven’t even thought of and each level has unique tools to take on its challenges. That stuff excites the hell out of me. It helps me understand that shit is going to get tough. Odds are I am going to get my teeth kicked in a few times. At the end of the day, it’s about the grind of the level and learning to play with your new skillsets.
Your leveling up. Remember at the start of the level shit is tough you have to figure the right lanes and the new equipment. The equipment doesn’t appear you have to break shit and blow some shit up to make it happen. You may even have to start over a few times. Either way, you have to keep moving forward towards the next boss and learn how to kick his ass. Sometimes the right teammates can give you tips to get better at the level this is why we have coaches, masterminds, and mentors.
Go through life trying to hit the max level in your game. Become the #1 in the world of being you. I think you will be surprised how badass you are and what you can accomplish.
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What I Learned From Journaling
For years and years, I fought against journaling. Gurus, coaches, and mentors told me I need to journal. However, no matter what I tried I just couldn’t make it work. Not Journaling continued to frustrate me, so I gave up.
However, we know life happens. At one point when my career had hit a low on guidance from my coach, I decided to change my mindset and figure out journaling. I realized I was journaling to prove it didn’t work. I was trying to write from the mentality of limitations vs. a mindset of self-development.
This slight change of journaling to prove it would work helped tremendously. As I began to journal I found that I had too much crap rolling around in my head. I was bitching and moaning more about life than I thought I was, and I was more frustrated that I realized.
As I began to write, I was able to put a perspective on my gremlins and find unique ways to beat them back. My head trash became less of a thing to slow me down and more of a challenge to conquer.
As I continued to change my mindset, everything began to change as well. My perspective on life got more positive and real, and I became a less negative person. I grew more intuned with myself than I had in years past and ultimately I began to like myself. It was a fresh experience, and I started to explode in my career.
Every day I was journaling I was learning new insights and becoming more genuine and real. Life became fun, and everyone around me saw a vast difference.
What I learned from journaling was life is good. Life is great and every day is a good day. My personal demons are not that scary and I am who I want to be. I challenge you to start journaling, and maybe you can have this breakthrough discovery too.
If you want help getting started in journaling check out my free Ebook. That’s Not How You Journal, Jackass it walks you through my process of journaling.
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Recently I looked at my schedule and freaked the hell out. Since starting my coaching business, I have been busy figuring everything out and learning what things I enjoy about running a business and what I hate. It has been very gratifying and surprising. I freaked out cause I had an open spot on my calendar. 3 Hours with nothing in it and it made me nervous. How could I let this happen? I was pretty hard on myself because it made me feel like I was half-assing it.
So I started looking at how I am running my coaching business to see how I could have that large of a gap in my schedule. What I discovered was I was only regimenting part of my day. I was going through a lot of motions but wasn’t creating a lot of actions.
Action drives attitude, so inaction is the decline of a company or worse a demotivator and a hit to your self-esteem. So, I decided to kick it up a notch and get more regimented with my time. I began by looking at my calendar defining where was I spending most of my time. Was I client/prospect facing or was I doing busy work? Interestingly it was both, but I was doing busy work when I should have been growing my business.
Now my schedule is way more regimented and aligned with my companies growth goals. (Which are lofty) I kept my morning routine of writing an article and posting on social media, journaling, and exercise. I changed up my times on meeting with clients and prospects and adding in more prospecting time. I improved my networking by reaching out to contacts and having conversations and referral discussions.
What is cool about this regimented change is my attitude is brighter, my outlook better and the company is growing. I just needed a good ole swift kick in the ass. Which came in the form of Timothy Ferriss’s Book, The 4 Hour Workweek.
Look at your daily regiment and see where you can improve your activities. It may be the change your business or career needs and allow you to kick some ass.
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Challenge the day or seize it. Either way, today is a good day to get after it and go for it.
Often people are waiting for that perfect moment before they decide to move forward. You don’t have that luxury it will never be perfect. It will never be just right. If you keep waiting, then it will be just gone.
Lean down lace up your boots, and let’s get to work. Look forward instead of back and do something. Do anything that gets you taking action. Once you start moving, don’t stop you need the momentum to carry you through the tight spots.
Some people slow down through the holiday season. When you slow down, it destroys growth and attitude. It mentally shuts you down, and it’s like turning off the engine of your car in winter. Once the engine cools off, it can take some time to start. Keep the engine warm with activity.
Activities can be almost anything as long as it focused on growth for you. Growth can be learning, growth can be building, and growth can be helping someone else.
This day is yours to celebrate. Embrace it and go big as you can and watch what happens.
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